He said, “She’s smokin’ hot!”
His friend responded, “Is that why I am coughing? All that smoke.”

I went to get a gift bag for graduates from my university. This school’s infodesk seldom has the right info for daily events. The gal at the desk immediately asked “Do you have an address?” I responded, “Of course I do, I live somewhere, do you think I’m homeless? She said, “No I mean do you have an address for the place that you get the gift bag?” Once again, I left frustrated that this university had no info and a clerk who assumed I should teach her where things were at the school she worked at as the info person!

She , “Do you ever have leftover.”
Her friend responded, “Only when he’s in town.”

“The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack in will.”

~ Vince Lombardi ~

She said, “I work in a clothing store. I dress people.”
He responded, “I prefer to undress them.”

At a party, he was eating a mini wiener, and asked, “How come you’re not eating one?”
She responded, “I prefer the big ones.”

Help desk operator said, “After I transfer you, press option 3. Don’t press option 1, because it will get you back to me.”
He responded, “I wish getting back with my ex was as easy.”

He said, “I like women who argue.”
She responded, “Why?”
He replied, “So we can kiss and make up.”

He said, “Pray, and thy will be healed.”
His friend responded, “Yeh, well I prayed, and I got heeled right in the ass.”

She said, “I am cocky.”
He responded, “You are welcome to borrow mine.”