She dropped her card.
As she bent down to pick it up,
he said, “While you’re down there…”


He said, “Pleasure to meet you.”
She responded, “The pleasure is all mine.”
He replied, “Don’t be so selfish. I want some of the pleasure.”

What’s Your Number

To a young lady he just met, he asked, “What’s your number.”
She responded, “Why do you want my number? We just met.”
He replied, “I’m going to use the numbers on my lottery ticket.”

Crooked Glasses

She said, “Your glasses are crooked.”
He responded, “They were straight until I looked at you.”


She said, “Stop hitting on my friends.”
He responded, “No, I’m saving that for you.”

People Who Lie

She said, “No one likes people who lie.”
He responded, “I like women who lie down.”


Waiter passing hors d’oeuvres asks, “Would you like jerk chicken?”
He points to his friend next to him and says, “He can’t eat that. Jerks can’t eat jerks.”


Her girlfriend said, “She’s a mover.”
Her responded, “I’m a shaker.”


She said, “I believe in water reclamation.”
He responded, “I prefer girlfriend reclamation.”


She said, “I’m seeing several people.”
He responded, “I’m more interested in feeling… No, I mean feelings.”